THANK YOU !!!

That’s a simple two-word phrase but then, how often do we really say it? And how promptly do we say it? I receive a surprise gift from my friend and he insists I open it in his presence. “Wowwwwwwwww, this looks very lovely.” 

I am very excited about it and can’t wait to see what’s in that beautifully-wrapped parcel, I even start to feel around it trying to guess what’s in there; he loves the look of excitement on my face and is excitedly expecting to see my reaction to the gift.  And then,………………………………….. …

MOURNING THE THINGS THAT WEREN'T

I wish the British left us as the Northern and Southern protectorates that they met us as when they came in 1846 without amalgamating us to become Nigeria in 1914. We most probably wouldn’t have had ethnicity and religion as foremost problems now.

I wish the January 1966 coup was completely successful. I wish Madiebo didn’t successfully convince Nzeogwu not to take the fight to Ironsi after the latter had taken control of the government in Lagos. With the blueprint the coup-plotters had mapped out for Nigeria, we most likely would have had an economy similar to Russia and China’s by now if that blueprint was executed to the letter.

I wish Ironsi had kept the end of the bargain he made with Nzeogwu before the latter surrendered to him. If Ironsi had kept the deal, Awolowo and the rest of the imprisoned Southern opposition would have been released; the families of the slain victims of the January 1966 coup would have been taken care of by the government and the subsequent May 1966 riots and July 1966 coup may never have occurred.

DOES GOD REALLY LOVE ME? - MUSINGS ON A COLD EASTER MORNING

A lot of times I have paused to wonder if God really does love me as the Bible says; and if He does, why? Very many times in my over twenty year stay on earth so far, I have pondered over this issue. Sometimes I agree that God does love me, other times I wonder what could have made Him forsake me in those times it seemed like He did. Often times I have asked for forgiveness of confessed sins over and over again thinking “well maybe He still has some grudge for me for having annoyed Him in so and so way, so let me keep saying sorry; hopefully He’ll one day finally decide to forgive and forget and start letting the light of His countenance shine upon me again.” But I have now come to realize that I have been viewing God as an all-powerful, knowing, seeing and mighty human instead of the God He is- and still with all those attributes. Human beings will do things for me because of something(s) I had done for them, or something they hope they will get from me. But not my God, He does things for me simply because He loves me and not because I had done some stuff for Him in the past or that He hopes I’ll do some stuffs for Him in the future.

WHO SAYS WRITERS ARE NOT PREACHERS?

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Source: Ted.com

I was hurrying as usual to get home, oblivious even of the sweet breeze swirling round me after enduring a cumulative one hour journey in three stuffy buses, when I heard one of those beckons, "Aunty, come and buy sweet oranges." My usual reaction to calls like this is to pretend as if I didn't hear them and continue on my way. But this one was different- it was a woman's voice, and it had a motherly undertone to it. Nevertheless, oranges are one of the last things I will use my time to eat and my money to buy. So I stopped to politely decline the offer but was met with the weary but smiling face of an elderly woman who hadn't let the hard knocks of life take away the shine off her face. I'd barely opened my mouth to say the words when she said, "My orange sweet. I go give you five for 100 Naira."

NIS RECRUITMENT: WHEN JOB SEEKERS BECOME MARTYRS

Just when you think you've seen and heard it all in this jungle of a country, another mind-numbing incident happens and you start to wonder if Nigeria isn't an extension of hell...

I've only ever been in a Nigerian Immigration Service (NIS) office for three hours but two things were clear to me from that brief visit. One, every Tom, Dick and Harry, if given the opportunity, wishes to leave Nigeria- but that's topic for another day. Two, the NIS is a very corrupt and disorganized institution. Or how else would you describe a government office in Nigeria where workers resume before 8a.m just to ensure they can get as much passport applicants who will pay them sharp-sharp processing fees to get their passports within the blink of an eye, with such fees usually being double the amount the legit process requires to get the same passport? I doubt if there's any of our Immigration officers that knows or remembers the legit process to apply for and collect these international passports any more, the dubious means has become the normal mode of operation. Of course if you've been to any of the NIS offices, you'll agree with me that the ratio of khaki-wearing officers to passport applicants at peak period is approximately 2:1- yes, I mean that there are more officers than applicants themselves at every point in time in Immigration offices across Nigeria. Really, NIS is a place I'll want to visit ONLY when I absolutely have to.

NIGERIA AT 100: WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE CELEBRATING?

It’s a very sad me typing this right now. Just when I was still trying to come to terms with the fact that $20 billion of our commonwealth had been stolen and we weren’t ever going to get it back, since the whistle-blower aka noisy CBN governor had been ousted, I learnt about the gruesome killing of over 50 teenagers in a Federal Government College in Yobe state by the Boko Haram sect with 20 girl children abducted in the process ( as I write this, I’m pondering with fear what exactly those girls, if they are still alive, will be going through right now). I lived in the boarding house of a Federal Government College for three years myself and I still remember vividly the few and far between times we heard stories like a man coming into the hostel to rape girls and the beating of some supposed  student witches by fellow students and the kind of fear those stories put me in for days and weeks. So I can’t even begin to imagine what those teenage students experienced that dark night. I was still in shock about the incident when I learnt the Boko Haram sect had invaded a village in Adamawa and slaughtered over 20 people. All these in less than one week! At that point, I wasn’t sure my heart could take any more bad news from Nigeria, preferring to just read about happenings around the world from CNN and co. Only for me stumble across a news item that the Federal Government had drawn up a list of 100 people for Centenary awards that will be handed out during the 100 years’ of Nigeria. Centenary what? I quickly found the list on the internet and on skimming it, it dawned on me that even after 100 years of being a country- and more than 53 years of being independent- we still don’t have a clue of what we are doing or where we are headed.

ANOTHER PROPHET NATHAN STORY

It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself. 
- Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 -1962)

If you were a bible-story loving kid, then you’ll remember the story Prophet Nathan used to illustrate to King David, his greed in going to sleep with another man’s wife- Beersheba, trying to get the man- Uriah- to cover up his (David’s) act by asking him to leave the field of battle and go home and lie with his wife, finally killing the man when his cover-up attempts failed, and taking the man’s only wife to be one of his wives. There’s also the story of Jezebel’s act of ordering the false accusation and subsequent killing of Nabaoth just so that her husband, King Ahab, could acquire Nabaoth’s garden, after Nabaoth had refused to bequeath his family-inherited garden to the king. These two bible stories are very similar in that the rich tried to exploit the poor of the little they had; and when their attempts failed, they resorted to eliminating the obstacles in their way- the poor. Incidentally, these stories don’t happen only in the bible.